Zat You Santa Claus?
by Breezy Walsh
Summary: **New chapter added. Complete.**Amanda gets a scare and Lee has some 'splainin' to do.
1. Who's there?

Zat You Santa?

By Breezy Walsh

_Disclaimer: I'm broke, sue me and you can have your choice of my debt or what's in the box… I don't own the characters. The song 'Zat You Santa Claus?' is not mine, but in this context is thought to be performed by Louis Armstrong. Although I've heard Garth Brooks performed it on a soundtrack. _

_Please ask me before putting this on any other sites, I'll let you. I just want to know._

_Thank you to my betas Heather and Dawn. YOU ROCK!_

      The house on Maplewood Drive was dark, all except one room. Amanda King was busy wrapping the presents she had bought during the day while her mother, Dotty West, was out picking up both of Amanda's sons at various activities.

     Amanda was just adding a bow to one of the boxes when she heard a voice. A very distinct voice. She remembered it from when she was a little girl. It was Louis Armstrong! 

      She picked up a small box to stuff into one of the boys' stockings. Suddenly she snapped bolt upright. Why was Louis Armstrong singing? She was the only person home. Something was wrong and she wasn't going to sit back and wait to find out why.

_Gifts I'm preparing for some Christmas sharing, _

_But I pause because, _

_Hanging my stocking I can hear a knocking. _

_'Zat you, Santa Claus?_

     Amanda looked around the room for some kind of protection. She had a lamp, a bag of chocolates, and a roll of wrapping paper that looked the most menacing out of all of the objects that were scattered about her room.

     She decided that taking the lamp would give her the best advantage. She knew the layout of her home, even in the dark. If there was anyone else in there, she would bet her life savings that they wouldn't be able to find their way around. As it was, she would have to remember where all of the decorations were laid out. 

_Sure is dark out, ain't the slightest spark out. _

_'Pon my slackened jaw! _

_Who's there? Who is it stopping for a visit? _

_'Zat you, Santa Claus?_

     Amanda slowly opened her bedroom door and crept down the stairs. She kept her back pressed as close to the wall as her body would allow. The lamp was raised over her head in one hand, the other hand in front of her to feel for obstacles.

     There was a slight noise. A creak. It could have come from anywhere. But just to be on the safe side, she very cautiously worked her way over to where she thought it originated from in the living room.

     She forced her eyes to focus on the shadows that surrounded her. As she looked at each silhouette she had to recall what each one was. The tree was easy, but a few of the decorations threw an ominous shape on to the wall. She panicked for a split second while she moved closer to find out what it was. As she reached the nativity scene in the corner, she laughed at herself for the fear she had felt wash over her over a few ceramic figurines. But she still didn't know who or what was in her house playing that music. 

     Now that she thought of it, she didn't have that song on tape. Whoever this was had come prepared. 

_Are you bringing a present for me, _

_Something pleasantly pleasant for me? _

_Then it's just what I've been waiting for. _

_Would you mind slipping it under the door?_

     She moved out of the living room and up through the front hall. She checked the front door that was still locked. Then she nearly screamed. She heard a new noise. A whistling, it was coming from the kitchen.

     She slowly crept her way into the room... 

_Cold winds are howling, or could that be growling? _

_My legs feel like straws. _

_My my oh me my, kindly would you reply? _

_'Zat you, Santa Claus?_

     She looked around first at the refrigerator because she had felt a chill, but it was shut. She looked over the island and on to the opposite wall and saw the back door was slightly ajar.

     Tip-toeing across the room, she ever so gently closed the offending closure and looked around. There was nothing out of place. She would swear that she hadn't closed it completely if it weren't for that music.

_Hanging the stocking, I can hear a knocking. _

_'Zat you, Santa Claus? _

_I say, who's there, who is it? Are you stopping for a visit? _

_'Zat you, Santa Claus?_

"I know someone is here. I am not helpless and before my family comes home I will find you," Amanda stated with more courage than she felt she possessed at the moment.

_Oh there, Santa, you gave me a scare. _

_Now stop teasing cause I know you're there. _

_We don't believe in no goblins today, _

_But I can't explain why I'm shaking that way._

Thump! There was no mistaking where that noise had come from. Amanda rushed to the doorway of the den and tried to keep her composure knowing that someone had the nerve to sneak into her home. She braced herself for what she had to do.

_Bet I can see ole Santa in the keyhole. _

_I'll get to the cause. _

_One peek and I'll try there; oh oh, there's an eye there! _

_'Zat you, Santa Claus?_

She snuck a peek around the corner hoping to see how big her adversary would be. There was a hunched form that looked to be examining a hurt shin from Amanda's view. 

     She knew this was her best chance to catch the intruder by surprise. She ran up behind the figure and smashed it over its head.

     "Ouch!" A male voice cried and fell to the floor.

     Amanda ran to the light switch to find out who had the gall to come into her home and potentially harm her family. 

_Please, please, pity my knees! _

_Say that's you, Santa Claus!_

She was a bit nervous as she turned on the lights. She didn't know whom to expect. As the lights came up, her anger rose from the pit of her stomach. 

     "Lee! What are you doing here, and why are you listening to that song?"

_Ok, I know the ending seems sort of abrupt. I was leaving space for a sequel I'm working on it right now. I just thought I should finish this one for the Song Fic Challenge so that I wouldn't be the last to go. By the way, my letter is Z. _


	2. Fancy Meeting You Here

Zat You Too?

By Breezy Walsh

Disclaimer: They belong to Shoot the Moon and WB, wish it'd been me.

Feedback: Oh yeah, I'd like lots and lots, but I'll settle for whatever I get.

Notes: This is in reply to the death threats I got after leaving 'Zat You Santa Claus' the way I did. I would also like to thank my lovely betas, Heather and Dawn. You guys would be the men if you were not female.

Archiving: Sure thing! Just let me know.

Story in short: Why was Lee there and what was he doing?

Story in long:

      "Damn," Lee Stetson cursed. He had been trying all 

afternoon to get Amanda King's attention, but she never seemed to be alone. He never realized how much stamina it took to be a housewife with two sons and a mortgage. 

      Seeing how much activity there was in the King 

household, Lee decided to give up so he could get some dinner. He figured he could catch her later on after everyone else was in bed. If he hadn't had the breakthrough of the century he wouldn't even have to sit around in this domestic fantasy land.

      He turned to walk back to his car when he felt his 

foot crushing something. He looked down to see what had been hidden among the dusty miller and witch broom. It appeared to be a plastic action figure of some kind. He just wasn't sure what it was.

      "Aww no," he grumbled as he bent down to pick up the 

torso. He examined it carefully noting as many of the major marks he could. Before he could take too many notes, he heard the back door open. "This is not my day," he groaned as he ran back to his car. 

      "Okay mom, I promise I'll be back," Phillip called 

over his shoulder. He felt his foot crunch something on the ground as he started to run off. He looked down and saw Jaime's Captain Crazy action figure in bits all over the walk. "Oh no. I'll tell him when I get home."

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      'I can't believe I am in a toy store. This is ridiculous.' Lee was carefully going over each and every action figure that the store had. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out which three-inch figure he had crushed. 

      He decided rather than get the wrong one he would pick 

up the fifteen he had it narrowed down to. He also knew that if he bought all of these action figures he would need to leave something for Phillip also.

      Lee had been rather impressed with the way he had found out who the owner was. A little bit of covert listening had told him whom the 

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      "Thanks a lot dufus." Jaime was furious with his brother. Not only had Phillip crushed his Captain Crazy, but he had hidden most of it in his grandmother's flowers. If he hadn't seen the arm waving at him from the edge of the phlox he never would've known.

      "I was going to tell you. And I swear I didn't hide him. I must've kicked it when I was running. I had planned on telling you when I got home, but I needed to get that comic from Stew. Since you found him though, I'm very sorry and please don't tell Mom." Phillip had been in enough trouble for running off before taking care of his chores this afternoon. If his mother had found out that he had broken Jaime's toy he knew his world would be over.

      Lee had been walking to the backyard when he heard the 

boys talking. Well, at least one problem had been solved.

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      So now he was sitting in the sports section wondering 

what he could get for Phillip. He knew it had to be something good. Not only did he need something that equaled the number of action figures, but also something that said sorry to the boy.

      He grabbed a soccer ball, a baseball, basketball, and 

Frisbee. He figured this would help. As he hauled all of the toys up to the checkout he realized he still needed to get something for Amanda. He knew if he picked up all this stuff for the boys he should get her something nice and if he got her something he needed to get something for Dottie. She shouldn't be left out. 

      As he packed away the boy's gifts he racked his brain 

for ideas. Amanda would be extremely difficult, what do you buy a mother of two who is a good friend and nothing more? A scarf seemed a little impersonal, but speaking of impersonal, what would he get her mother?  

      He supposed that he wouldn't have enough time to take 

care of either of them since he was using his lunch time to get this stuff. He decided he would run by a little gift shop that he had seen before** near Amanda's tonight on his way to her place.**

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      The day went by pretty fast. Between meetings and 

paperwork he barely had time to call the costume store. He figured he would just leave the presents off while no one was around, but if 

someone walked in he wanted to have a backup. All good 

agents have a backup plan.

      If anyone walked in on Santa**, he had no doubt that **

they'd be a little shocked, but it'd give him time to 

disappear before they could do anything about it. And with 

the beard no one would see his face.

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      Lee slowly perused each aisle wondering what Amanda 

would think of each item. He had never bought something for a woman that wasn't meant to be a ticket to a four-posted paradise. He knew when he pulled into the parking lot that this place would have something for her. With a name like 'Grandma's Treasures' it dripped with white picket fences and paper boys. 

      He turned the last corner and saw it. The perfect 

gift. A quilt that looked like it was taken right out of the background of Amanda's living room. He picked it up and looked around wondering what to get Dottie. He remembered a ceramic potpourri warmer that he saw in the first row. 

      As he paid for his purchases, which he had no idea 

would be quite so pricey, he plotted out his scheme. He was going to pick up his costume and change at the shop. From there he was hoping that everyone in the King household would be out like Amanda had said they would be. He would wrap Dottie's gift and leave a card from "Santa" with a clue for Amanda.

      'All this because I broke a silly little plastic toy. 

Stetson, you're getting soft.'        

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      Santa costumes were in short supply around December, 

Lee soon found out. He had to wait in line at the costume 

shop for a half hour before he even got to the clerk.

      "What can I do for you?" The shopkeeper asked.

      "My name is Lee Stetson. I reserved a costume earlier."

      "Oh! Yeah, you're the guy who got the last suit for 

the night. I hope it fits," the stout man sized up Lee's tall figure, 

"Well, it'll be a little snug, but no one will be able to tell."

      The man ambled into the back room and returned with a 

suit bag on a hanger. 

      "That'll be twenty-five fifty, please," the chrome-topped merchant stated.

      "Wow, I didn't think being Santa was so pricey. Oh 

well. Thank you," Lee smiled as he handed over the money. "Do you have a place where I can change now?"

      The other man pointed to a changing booth on the opposite side of the small shop.

      "Thanks." 

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      Snug. That didn't even begin to describe how the 

costume fit. His pants were like a red velour prison. They were too short and squeezed in all the wrong places. The shoulders of the jacket left him enough space to lift his arms about 2 inches from his sides. And the hat. He didn't even want to think about the hat. It looked like about five thousand people had worn it and no one thought to toss it in a washer. He put on the wig without examining the inside, 

hoping against hope that he wouldn't need to buy lice shampoo.

      After changing into the costume he hobbled out to his 

car and drove over to 4247 Maplewood Drive. He pulled up and saw that there was no car around. Things might just work in his favor.

      He surveyed the neighborhood and found no one was even 

on the street. Now seemed to be the time. He slowly climbed out of the low seat, grimacing. The pants were really too tight. After 

gathering all of the King family loot, he moved fast across the street and around to the back.

      He pulled out his lock pick and made fast work of it. 

He carefully slunk in to the den where he knew the Christmas tree was and set down the bags. Taking a minute to make sure he was alone, he walked around the entire first floor. When he didn't hear any movement around the house he went back to his work. 

      The first item he pulled out of one of the bags was a 

tape deck that ran on batteries. He knew he would need to get into the mood. He pulled a tape out of his pocket and examined it by tree light. 

      "Christmas Songs For Agents. Leave it to Jeannie to 

think of something like that." Lee chuckled to himself and at the present he had received just the other day from Billy Melrose's wife. 

      As the first strains of 'Zat You Santa Claus' came on, 

Lee was hard at work. He pulled out the bag he had bought to put Dottie's burner in and filled it with the gift and lots of tissue paper.

      Next he needed to put a tag Amanda's quilt. Which bag 

did he put those tags in? He thought they were great. They had little mice dressed up as elves, all working on different toys. If he were to enjoy Christmas, these would be the little things that would make the season for him, but he didn't.

      "I should have carried those separately," he growled, 

"I'll have to improvise."

      Lee started to walk across the room to another bag 

when he heard a voice.

      "I know someone is here. I am not helpless and before 

my family comes home I will find you." Amanda stated.

      Lee jumped, but his pants caught his legs and forced 

him to fall against the coffee table.

      "Ouch!" He whispered.

      He pulled himself up and lifted the constricting 

garment to look at his shins. He started to rub gingerly 

looking for blood or bumps. He was too busy looking for said 

battle wounds when he saw stars.

      "Ouch!" He yelled this time and collapsed to the 

floor. He shifted to a sitting position and rubbed where he 

had been hit as the lights came on.

      Amanda demanded, "Lee! What are you doing here and why 

are you listening to that song?"

      Lee wasn't sure of how to explain himself. He was a 

hard-nosed tough as nails spy. He didn't care about 

Christmas, but here he was dressed up as Santa in Amanda 

"World's Biggest Hassle" King's house delivering presents to 

her and her family, and worst of all listening to Christmas 

music. 

      If Francine found out... well, he wouldn't go there 

for now.

      "Uh, Amanda. Do you have any ice? My head is killing 

me." Lee was stalling for more time to come up with a way to 

explain.

      "No, not until you tell me why you are here dressed 

like," she pointed to him trying to come up with a 

description, "that. Listening to a song that I haven't heard 

in years, lurking around in the dark next to my Christmas 

tree, with all of those bags, does this have to do with some 

case or something?" 

      "No. It doesn't have anything to do with a case. You 

are entitled to a reason, but I can't think right now. I 

have a splitting headache," Lee grumbled, obviously upset.  

"Can I please have some ice? I can," he caught himself 

starting to yell and calmed down, "I can explain everything 

to you after."

      Lee put on his best wounded puppy look and stared deep 

into Amanda's eyes willing her to believe him, "I promise," 

he pleaded. 

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      With Lee's head and shins taken care of he realized he 

needed to start explaining himself or he could potentially 

be in more trouble. He shifted in his seat looking for a 

position that would minimize the throbbing and cleared his 

throat.

      Amanda looked at him expectantly, "Why are you wearing 

that suit? It looks like it was made for a munchkin."

      Lee smiled, "Heh, well, I, uh, I thought it'd be a 

good cover if I got caught by your mother or the boys," he 

figured this is about as much help as Amanda would give him, 

so he took the plunge. 

      "Last week, I had a lead I wanted to talk to you 

about. I waited for about three hours trying to get your 

attention, but you were really busy. When I walked back to 

my car, I stepped on an action figure that was buried in 

some flowers."

      "Captain Crazy, Phillip thought he had broken him," 

Amanda stated.

      Lee continued, "I know. I had memorized some of the 

markings on it, but I guess it wasn't enough, but I'll get 

to that. I had decided to replace it, but I wanted to see 

who it belonged to before I did. I over heard Phillip and 

Jaime talking about it and I felt really bad that Jaime was 

so angry with Phillip for it. When I went to the toy store I 

bought Jaime any action figure that resembled what I could 

remember. Then I figured I owed Phillip for taking the fall 

for me, so I bought him some stuff to try to make up for his 

trouble."

      "Lee, you could have just told me that you had stepped 

on it and I could have taken care of it," Amanda 

interrupted.

      "I guess so, but I didn't think of that," he smirked, 

"Anyway, I looked at how much I had bought for the boys and 

figured I should get something for you and your mother. So I 

have gifts in there for the two of you also. I had to wrap 

your mother's and leave you a note sort of explaining where 

the gifts had come from. I figured I'd have a chance tonight 

without anyone being around. You had said something about 

everyone was going to be out for the night, including you."

      Amanda chimed, "I needed to finish wrapping some 

things for the boys, so mother took them to the movies for 

me. Why were you listening to music if you didn't want to 

get caught? It's not really something I pictured you 

listening to."  

      Lee felt like he was getting the third degree even 

though the questions were simple and easy enough to answer. 

It just didn't do much for his image. He chewed on his lip 

thinking of the best way to answer.

      "I, uh, well," the infallible Scarecrow was stumped, 

"I needed something to get into the mood," he shrugged. 

"Why did you have to pick that song? It had me scared to 

death," Amanda

asked.

      "Jeannie made me a tape for the holidays when she 

found out I didn't own any Christmas music. 'Christmas Songs 

for Agents,' since it was the only Christmas music I had, I 

listened to it," he answered simply.  "I'm sorry I scared 

you, but you did the right thing," he winced as he touched 

the back of his head.

      "I'm sorry I hit you like that. If I had known I would 

have helped you," she smiled and reached across the table to 

touch his arm, "Would you like some cookies? I can make some 

hot cocoa and we can finish the wrapping together."

      Lee thought about the invitation for a minute, "What 

about your mother in the boys?"

      Amanda looked at the clock, "She promised that she'd 

keep the boys out until ten. We still have two hours."

      "In that case, I don't know how I could say no. I love 

cookies and I'm not in much shape to drive right now."

      "Good," Amanda stood up to get the plate, "Now how do 

I explain to everyone how these gifts got here?"

      Lee's eyes twinkled for a second, "Santa." 


End file.
